This is a shout out to all the curly headed girls and women who dealt with frizz, humidity, flat irons, relaxers, keratin treatments and every styling product ever invented, trying to get that sleek straight hair look.

Remember that “your girl is lovely Hubbell” Sex and the City episode when Carrie convinced herself Big chose Natasha because:

Though the complexity of life as a queen with curls is far better illustrated by the bullshit women of color have had to endure in the workplace and elsewhere, being told their natural styles were “unprofessional” while protecting their locks from entitled people trying to touch them without consent.

Thank you to all of the amazing Black, Latina and Indian women who taught me how to care for my curls, my soul and Spirit ❤️ Womxn are so much more than our hair, appearance, and society’s perception of us. In therapy, we can uncouple these false narratives from your mindset, view of the world and concept of worth, power and privilege.

Some curl self-care lessons I’ve been blessed with:

1. Stop washing your hair everyday.

2. Stop brushing your hair when its dry.

3. Discover your curl pattern and a conditioning mask designed for it.

4. Use natural, sustainable hair care products to breathe life back to dehydrated locks.

5. Scrunch in every direction with hydrating gel while dripping wet. I’m in love with this one.

6. Use a microfiber hair wrap or cotton t-shirt to dry your curls after washing to minimize frizz.

7. Be careful not to over-hydrate — even though curls do tend to need more moisture.

8. Use heated styling tools sparingly if at all.

9. Don’t skip appointments to get your hair trimmed! It won’t grow any faster doing so.

10. Don’t appropriate protective styles or any style you don’t understand that’s not part of your culture.

Connecting with self-love, body acceptance, gender joy, and authentic personal style isn’t easy, especially for women of color and gender expansive individuals. Therapy is a place you can unpack all the B.S society has taught you gives you value, exchanging it for self-actualization, dignity, individuation and the confidence to live a life that leaves you feeling fulfilled and genuinely seen in the best way.

Book a free 15 minute consultation to start conspiring on your wildest ambitions and highest good

✨ Until next time,
Stay Curly Friends!